Monday, December 19, 2016

A different realm



A: "I'll try to work things out but I just need time." 

I was put in a box, running out of breathe and there is not enough space to move. It took a month.

B: "Have you thought about everything? What is your decision?"

A: "It's over"

I was shocked. The irony of what happened is I was expecting it already. However, I didn't leave a fraction of my heart for myself. I gave it all. My eyes shed a year worth of tears for another month. I lost you. I lost the only human being that I decided to share my life with.

A: "How are you? Can I drop by just to catch up?"

What are you doing? Are you trying to fix things? Why do you want to catch up? There's this plethora of interrogatives trying to beat my capacity to over think. It's a sin. It made my skin dry. It harmed me physically... and literally.

B: "No. Let's not be friends."

Until weeks, different festivities, and months have passed. Never was a circumstance that we saw each other to discuss what happened. I have moved on. I am broken and I am happy synchronously. I've met new people. I did things my way, without considering you anymore. I've been to new and old places. There was no shadow of you.

Few times I saw you with him. Him, who must not be named. I was angry.

B to B: "Are you bitter? Or just angry?"

B to B: "Who cares? It's normal!!! Remember one episode of The Good Wife that one lawyer said that Bitterness is for losers, then perhaps you're just angry. It's normal, just pray!"

It was one gloomy morning when I woke up at 8:00 AM and I need to be in the office at 8:30 AM. I jumped into the shower immediately, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and dressed up. While waiting for my Uber driver, I thought of something.

What a peaceful life it is. My mistakes are mine. My success is mine. The world is like mine. The beauty of loneliness is you take ownership of whatever happens. Your world is full of blame. Your surroundings is dark. Your realm is fancy.

Now it's only me and I am now in a different realm. 

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