It's been a while when we had our first dinner together. Alone... In an old Chinese shop where the herbal soup overflows. It was noisy. Hence, the quality time that we had was covered with the pollution of busy people. You were quiet and very timid though. I didn't have the chance to know you better. I was thinking, why do my brain cells signals my heart when I think about you? It's telling me to stop.
It's not like C. It's the other way around with C. The pivot organ send signals to my brain with C. Something natural.
J: I'll have the same.
B: Me too.
After a long conversation which revolves around how the tasty herbal soup is made and if I know how to cook it, this tiny little smut of idea poked me after finishing my second bowl. I'm gonna ask J. I'm brave enough now to ask J.
B: So, J, of all the people and attention you're receiving from social media, I think many people like you because of your looks. Don't you have a special someone?
B: (Insert confused smiley)
J: No! Do you think that if I have a special someone now, will I have time to go out with you?
B: This isn't really a date right? (I laughed). Although, I want to be honest that I really don't know the reason why I keep on asking you to have a meal with me, or spend time with me even if I know that this will not progress into something noteworthy.
J: Yeah, you're weird. I also want to tell you something!
J: I intentionally said No to few of your invites but this, when we first dined together, and you asked me again. I just couldn't say No.
B: (Blushed). Well, at least I know that I have this special spot.
J: If that's what you call it.... Special spot.
B: I am seeing someone now.
J: Well it's normal, I guess. You're single and entitled to see anyone you like. As for me, I am totally clueless of what's happening in my life now. I am too busy at work, I have sports activities and I have career goals that eats up most of my free time. I am single for almost 5 years now. I cannot remember the feeling being with someone else regularly.
B: I am almost the same J. The only time that I make love with my bed is when sleeping. I constantly have this need to talk to someone, when I am alone. I multitask. I chat and cook, chat and work out, chat and do something else. I was too busy at work too and just finished our project. Honestly I do not know what's gonna happen next. I just live one day at a time.
J: Do you like who you're seeing now?
B: I think so.
J: Do you like me?
B: (silence) . . . . .
I liked J.
I fancied J.
I did like J. But then again, I do not know what happened neither what's happening inside me. I feel that whenever I am with J, I feel happy but there's this constant struggle within. There's uncertainty.
B: I don't know.
J: Let's finish another bowl (Insert empty smiley).