Monday, February 6, 2017

On battle grounds

Photo Credits; xdesktopwallpapers.com

It's like I used straitjackets to fasten you up in the warmth of my love. You were choked. You hated me. Your life suddenly got limited being with me. You found a way to escape. You were freed by someone who you think is better than me. I just don't know if you're happy now. I wish you are, because I am now.


It's been almost a year, but it felt like centuries that I am apathetic to that chapter in my life.

I am busy. I am inspired. 

I feel loved by the people that surrounds me now. 

There's a lot of silence penetrating the war in my mind, behind the colossal noise of the city. Until peace has taken over. The soldier has finally taken a rest. 

He was tired of the constant battle that went on for so long and eaten his sanity. 

He slept. He regained his clear vision of reality. 

He is thirsty.

I am recharged now. Ready to face another battle. 

In the midst of taking my first steps as a newly trained soldier, I found myself taking the same trail going to the same terrain.

The soldier has encountered the same sets of enemies. Then the commander interrogated the soldier.

"Do you have enough firearms? Ammos? Granades?"

"Are you realy fit for a hand to hand combat?"

The soldier smelled another war. It's again disturbing. It's again frightening.


The soldier is yet to raise the white flag. He must take a fall first.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Tangent





It's not an assurance that if we have the same language then we can understand each other.

It's not certain that if we have the same 20-20 vision then we can see the same horizon.

There will be times and if not, most of the time that we have to meet at some point. Our views and opinions are highly unalike,

It was one fine day when I was doing nothing at all, just reading the book that I have not finished for almost a year, then I received an unexpected phone call. It was from someone that I thought was apathetic. G have left my heart all over the place before. We hang out a lot, I fell in love but G has vanished for some unknown reason.

G: Hey how are you?!

B: Oh wow, I'm good... I'm good. Where have you been?

G: It's a long story B. I wanna meet with you soon, catch up and discuss life.

B: Sure.

G: I know it's been quite a ride with you B. It's been 6 years of an empty journey without you. I heard from our common friends that you were looking for me. I am sorry that I did not inform you of my whereabouts. I went to Dubai and worked there as a humble Toy Shop staff. I quit last month so I'm back.

B: Forget it G. I've moved forward to whatever it is that we had 6 years ago. I know that you're aware that you meant something for me. Thus, the silence and the absence has killed all my feelings towards you.

G: I need to tell you something.

B: Is it important?

G: I don't think it's important now but it could change that way you think about me.

B: Shoot!

G: I loved you B. I did and I don't even know If I still love you. I keep thinking what our lives could have been if we're together, then and now. We had good times.

I know a lot of things have changed. The feelings were kept into this dark room and the keys must be somewhere with you. I just can't stand the fact that you were being pursued by others and I feel inadequate for your love. They are better than me. I feel insecure. We are meeting a common point but I feel that we can never cross that line. I'm too scared.

B: Why would you think that?

G: I thought of moving forward. That I should go, for you keep on saying that people might not change. I have hurt someone before, I was unfaithful to my ex and I do not want you to think that I have the capacity to do that to you. You are something else B.

B: When do we meet up?

G: Let's have coffee tomorrow evening. I miss seeing you sipping the long black.

It's that moment during that phone conversation that I felt the hurt coming back. That I was probably sending the wrong signals to G. I felt guilt and regret. However it will not be good if I continue to blame myself.

Our lives have meeting points as we draw lines to each other's paths. At the very least we are able to touch other's lives. However, sometimes if you extend that line, it will not bring you to the same path that someone is destined to cross.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

I bought us some time



Time is Gold they say
Letting it pass, is such a big dismay
I want to hold you and feel you everyday
For us to be happy and gay.

Time is such a big predicament
I'm sick and tired of every stolen moment
I wish I could wash sadness with a solvent
That every minute will enjoy your involvement.

I'm sorry for giving you my spare
This is an injustice to my flare
If I could, I would run to you and stare
Though I understand that life isn't fair.

I bought us some time, and it's quite expensive
Who cares, as long as it's not elusive
Your love makes me happy and it's quite a sedative
I'm forever thankful for whatever it gives.